Saturday, June 18, 2011

Hitting a wall . . .

It's undoubtedly temporary, but I have hit a wall. I have so many ideas that I'm frozen into immobility. I have so many photos that I'm crushed beneath their weight. I want to do everything. I want to do nothing. This, too, shall pass, but in the meantime, I'm feeling a sense of purposelessness.

And a sense of isolation.

I post my works here on a daily basis. Lots of people visit every day.  But why? Obviously you're getting SOMEthing here. I just don't know what.

So like a sea anemone at low tide, I'm going to draw in my tentacles a bit until I figure out what's going on. Wish me luck! ©Carol Leigh


Linda Heinsohn said...

Dear Carol,
Interesting, your comments today about people stopping by but you don't know why.

The feeling is familiar to me. I did a daily photo effort for two years on eBlogger and felt much the same. Fortunately for me, YOU haven't quit!

I show up here (as much as I can remember to check) for inspiration and uumph. I am aware I'm nowhere near your skill level or your determination or your artistry. Yet, I feel comfort seeing your art, your photos. I'm sorry I haven't commented more.

Friends of mine, when I express a similar kind of lost feeling regarding my art, tell me it's an emotion that will shift soon. That perhaps it's a good time to rest. Tricky advice to hear and want to follow. And you're totally free not to want to take it--I know I rarely am.

But for me I feel comfort and challenge and depth and encouragement from your work when I check in here.


Wishing you all the best,

gottago said...

Courageous and great self care. I relate to your blog post.

I've just started meditating and began reading Finding Sanctuary.

I know you know I'm always busy but when I see all the work you do in a day I wonder how you maintain sanity.

Congrats on this decision.
Again, you are a great example.

xxoo Linda

Elena and Russ said...

Dear Carol,

Probably, we all go through such phases. Maybe this is just what we need - slowing down, recharging, looking towards new directions.
I'm sure, whatever you decide to do next will be as great and wonderful as you've shown us on your blog.
I do not comment on every post, but I've seen them all. The way you look at things is such an inspiration for me. I'm learning from you not only in class but here too.

I'm whishing you luck
and peace of mind,


bikejohn said...

Hey Carol,

Been there and back again more than a few times (as I suspect you have too). Sometimes busyness takes away my creative edge, sometimes there is too much creativity to manage! Sometimes I need to sit on the porch, sip a mint julep and just enjoy the moment.

I doubt that you'll be flustered for long. Actually, I'd kind of be surprised if you didn't soon have a flash of inspiration that takes you in a different direction. Kind of like when you first started making your montages.

I'm looking forward to seeing how you find your muse again.

Diane Miller said...

Luck! You'll find a way back to more and better creativity than you can believe. It happens to us all, and it's a Good Thing -- a rest, a recuperation, a chance for new inspiration and direction.

I check in here daily, because I find freshness, wonder, joy and just plain fun!

Return soon, and in the meantime, enjoy a well-deserved rest!

Craig Christy said...

You are my most favorite instructor.
You have so much creativity, it’s amazing.
Your writings are always a joyous read..
Your help and guidance has always been appreciated very much. you certainly have a special touch.
Thank God for people like you, or should I say " one of a kind "
True dedication and love for your craft!
I just can't thank you enough.

Me, my NIKON and Photoshop thank you over and over.

Get Well Soon !

Sam Hipkins said...

Hello Carol... Creativity is a powerful thing, but it's very, very fragile. And you have hit a moment when you question why you create and what it all means. This is natural and a good thing. I know you will find the answer. Your subconscious is working on it, so relax and let it come forward.

Stephan said...

As like sleep, we all need to rest, recharge and energize our inner cells. Taking a step back, looking from the outside-in, inside-out or what have you... it simply is nice to smell the roses, get stuck by the thorns, take a cold shower and simply see things in various perspectives.

Your work is amazing and seems without limitation. Here's to infinite possibilities and to see them accordingly! As always, all the best to you and yours!

Carol Leigh said...

My posting may have come across as a plea for comments. And maybe it was to a certain extent. We ALL like to be heard and to know that we're being heard. And art needs to be seen, so I was wondering if people were indeed seeing. But I can see from the hits that yes, people are stopping by and looking.

What it comes down to is external validation, that maybe we all need others telling us what we're doing is good. But you know, it shouldn't matter what others think, it's what WE feel deep in our heart that matters.

Andy Warhol said, "Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everybody else say whether it's good or not, and while they're deciding, keep making more art."

My concerns were (and still are) (1) that I have so many ideas I was feeling overwhelmed and didn't know what to do first and so was doing nothing, and/or was doing EVERYthing in a half-assed manner and (2) that I was creating some cool pictures that NOBODY thought were interesting enough to comment on, so why bother posting ANYthing?

Harrumph . . .

I'm better now. Have decided to work on just one new art project per month and to keep on posting here, not worrying about what anybody thinks. Having a place to show what I'm doing (this blog) is enough. For now.

So, thank you, Linda H., for your thoughtful response. Please don't feel you're not commenting enough -- I know you're there and I know you're looking.

And Linda J., you let me know all the time what I mean to you and to your own work and I should be telling YOU that, so that you know your words of appreciation are appreciated.

And you, too, Elena. It was great meeting you (and Russ, of course) in person in Santa Fe. Your enthusiasm means a lot to me (as well as the Inktense pencils you recommended!).

John W., thanks for your words of support and for your "sip a mint julep" recommendation. Note to self: must look up recipe for mint julep. Note to self: what's a "julep?"

Diane, looking forward to seeing you here soon, to thank you in person for all your encouragement.

Craig, your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you, sir, for YOUR always being there and for pushing me along.

You, too, Sam H. We have a LONG history, do we not? Will always remember your black and white Polaroid prints you showed me there in Nevada City. And your comment about "your subconscious is working on it" struck home.

Stephan, you man of superlatives, thank you for the suggestion to "take a cold shower." Ha!

And now I'm off, down to the studio to make something, or shoot something, or to make something and THEN shoot it, or to just put some paint on paper, and THEN shoot it, or ...

Carol "feeling better now" Leigh